I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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