I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize