Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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