she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
