i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
