even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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