bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
