just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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