I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
MIDGETS
????
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
