I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
