im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it