I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.