marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my shit smells like andre
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.