I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT