You're my little dorito
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
