Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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