oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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