Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
