Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
