i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
