I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
its liver damage thursday
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
