when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize