Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
