it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
where am i from again
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
