well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
