i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
