I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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