Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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