Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
