the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
