I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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