There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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