No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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