didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i out mim tonsoeep
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
