you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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