Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
