he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
