I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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