You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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