just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
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This is my life. Enjoy the view
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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