I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You're like the curious george of whores
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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