I don't think brook has ever known best
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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