She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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