You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize