What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year