he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
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apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
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smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance