wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.