what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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