their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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