So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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