I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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