ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
