next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize