I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
