I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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