i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit