Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
