Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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