Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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