Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
