no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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