She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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