youre lurking in front of me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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